Hitting the eject button

I have to say my friends have provided very good insight into NSFH's behavior. My friend R gets the award for the most creative advice. "We [men] sometimes hit the eject button and we don't really know why we did it."

I guess that is one of the great differences between men and women. I mean, have you ever heard a woman say, "I just stopped calling him. I don't really know why"? Exactly. We might have lame excuses, "He wore this shirt that totally reminded me of my ex-boyfriend and I just couldn't take it," but at least we have a reason.

After receiving numerous e-mails offering advice and insight, I took my lovely friend A's advice. A is very good at reading people and usually very level-headed, which was evidenced by her e-mail. "...I think you should call him. Maybe he thinks you're mad at him. Maybe he's just being a jackass. But if he's as a great as you say he is, give him a chance and throw him a rope." I didn't call, but I sent an e-mail:

Hey NSFH,

Heard you might be heading out this way this week. Pack warm -- it's incredibly cold here. Have a good flight.

I almost fell out of my chair when he wrote back. Yes, he will be here and wanted to know what my plans are for later this week. While a younger version of myself would have been jumping for joy, the mature, seasoned dater I'm becoming was skeptical. I would have at least expected an explanation of why he's been ignoring me for 2 1/2 weeks. Nope. Nada. Just, what are your plans for the week? Against my better judgement, I write back. He tells me he was hoping to see me. When? Next year? Were you going to contact me or was I just supposed to show up at your hotel to surprise you?

I'm not sure what to make of this. Part of me is thinking he wants to see me so he can tell me all about the girl he's dating back home and why he and I can only be friends from now on. But, of course, friends would be too strong a label. Friends communicate with one another, or at least explain why they've been MIA. But I'm going to see him. As A told me, "It's so hard to get a feel for what someone's thinking if you're not in person (and even then it's weird....)." Point well taken. Although I'd feel better if I knew he had lost his eject button.