NSFH Who?

I think I’m making progress. I managed to buy a plane ticket for when NSFH is “supposed” to be in town without even thinking he might be in town. I’m not putting my life on hold for him. In fact, I’m starting to kind of think he sucks. Who does he think he is playing with my mind like this? He knows what he said to me last fall and if he wants to pretend he never made any of those statements about the future to me, fine, but he’s missing out.

I went out with JJ again this weekend. Or, rather, I went to his house and we hung out. I find him incredibly attractive, intelligent, and a bit odd. I still am convinced he is ADD. It’s weird because I am obviously falling for him, as evidenced by the monologue in my head Saturday night:

“Wow, I really like him. Does he really like me or does he just want to get laid? What if he doesn’t really like me? Well, then why would he have signed up for match? There are easier ways to get booty calls. Is my moving in five months putting a major wrench in every potential dating situation? Who wants to get involved with me if they know I’m leaving? What if he wants to get involved, but is holding back because he knows I’m not sticking around? God, he’s really good-looking. He is really random, but I don’t picture him out meeting other girls. He does send nice text messages and call on a regular basis. He puts forth a decent amount of effort to make me think he’s not just looking for a booty call. Oh, who cares? He’s hot!”

I also had a lunch date with CJ. I definitely think there is something too strange about him. He is too clingy for me. I told him Wednesday night that I would get together with him Saturday and call him then. He sends me two text messages and calls Saturday to make sure I’m still coming up. Yes, I am still coming into town, but I have better things to do than check in with him every 12 hours. I know I must cut it off, but I’m not sure how I am going to do that. I suck at breaking up with people. In fact, I believe I have only successfully broken up with three people on the first try. The first two were in high school and the second one was last fall. I am known for my inability to end any relationship with exact finality. This time it isn’t a question of whether I’m making a mistake, it is just a question of how do I do it so I don’t feel like a jerk. I think the answer is there is no way to break up with someone without feeling like a jerk.